From the time the run started I had negative thoughts of not making it through the desired distance, and I totally felt run down. Since I started the training I never cheated a long run, and so I feel like I let myself down. Let me quote an Enimen song, “Lose Yourself”…goes something like “success is my only option, failure’s not”…or something like that. It’s on my play list because it’s a pump you up kind of a song…but that’s how I felt when I didn’t complete my run.
When I started this challenge, I was worried about the 26.2 miles, than I was worried about the fundraiser, then I was worried about having the time to do it all, and so I guess I met my breaking point. So, I got on the phone, called a friend who coaches, and he practically laughed at myself pity, and assured me everyone has a crappy run and to go ahead and do a 6-7 mile run on Sunday to feel better about missing a few miles on Sat. Well, after watching some friends compete on the windy, hour-long delayed 3M Half Marathon, I did just that.
It was one of the most comforting desirable runs to date. It cleared my head, and I felt okay again. Like many running their first marathon, I am not seeking an elite time or place, but don’t want to see all the hard work pan out into a marathon I could not finish. So, instead of worrying my head off because there are 3 weeks to go, I am going to get to that happy little place in my head that tells me, “Ryan is laughing his butt off because you are running a marathon. So, enjoy laughing with him. Because, he will help me get through this, like he did on my 22 mile run.” I am blessed to make it this far, and don't want to take any of it for granted, for I know at current time my best friend is serving overseas, and an earthquake has shattered thousands of lives.