T R U S T

The way my blogs went for the Austin Marathon were a little different than they are a present time. It was my first marathon, I was nervous, excited, anxious and running was kind of new to me again. I am not a running veteran by any means now, but there's only so much one can talk about a 7, 10, 15, 20 mile run without feeling too redundant.

One thing I have really tried to work on over the past couple of years is learning to trust again, and trying not to give too much trust to those who are not deserving. It can be tricky as I seem to wear my heart on my sleeve and enjoy letting those I care about know how much they mean to me. On the other hand, sometimes I can reveal too much without allowing others to prove they are trustworthy.

With the last marathon, I put my trust into a various groups of people and they came through with flying colors to help with this fundraiser. In my personal life, I have started to let down walls that were pretty thick due to a death and divorce within a month from each other because I felt my life was on the right track again. I wanted to share my happiness... the joy that came from talking about Ryan, giving back to our troops, finishing a 26.2 mile run, and managing Lupus.

But as my personality goes, I can just build those walls back up the minute I feel I cannot trust someone. So, going into this next challenge, I want to work on the ability to better judge when I am giving too much too soon, or not being trusting enough. This applies to work, this fundraiser, and friends. I am thankful for my family because they are who I turn to whenever I may be in doubt.

As flaws goes, it's one I plan to tweak a bit. And now for that run---7 miles tonight---on the trail, with a slight breeze to keep the temperature pretty okay for Austin---76 Degrees

Regretfully, I head to bed, as it's way too late!

You Never Know

Today was great. I spent the day with Max, enjoying a Saturday with a walk around Town Lake, kicking the ball around a bit and entertaining the ducks. From time to time we grab lunch at a restaurant we both enjoy and today was one of those days. There's a really nice guy who works there and he's always pleasant to Max and I and we usually have a little conversation as we have seen him several times working at this restaurant.
Well, the conversation lead to family talk, and because he told me he didn't always live in Austin, I asked him, something about his parents maybe living here? He said, no my parents are dead, they were murdered when he was a young boy. I was stunned and he told me a little about that time in his life and I just didn't know what to think. It just had me thinking for the rest of the day about the different people we meet and their backgrounds. This guy is super kind and always has a smile for his customers, seems to enjoy his job and he went through such a tragic experience...he witnessed the event.
It was just one of those days when you really appreciate that everyone has a story, and that you especially may never know what someone has been through because behind a smile and a pleasant personality this person had been through tremendous heartache.

Before we left, we were laughing and joking around again, as he has children and is always great at entertaining Max when we visit. That's the part of his story I appreciated the most...that he still is able to share happiness with complete strangers.

2010 ING NYC MARATHON CHALLENGE

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just snap inside? I don’t mean in a bad way, but more like, “oh yah, I need to wake up and get charged up again” type of a moment. Well today, out of the blue, it was like someone went “ping” on my head with a little hammer and a miniature me was sitting on my shoulder saying, “Psst..Sarah, when are you going to start going again”? I thought, yah, it’s about time to get in the zone again and try my best at this next challenge.

I am very blessed to have an entry to the 2010 ING NYC Marathon. I did think about doing Chicago, but NYC marathon is one month later, so more time to get ready for this one. So, I am going to count this as my first day of training for NYC Marathon which will take place on November 7, 2010.

I had great support from Austin, my family and friends, and Face book and Twitter. To those who helped out before, I will try not to bug you as much this time around, but if you could spread the word that we are raising goal amount to $26,200 for NYC, I would appreciate any amount you are someone you know can donate (including business/company donations).

You can donate directly online at http://www.runningforryan.com/ and click on donate link, or make a donation payable to: Running For Ryan

and mail to:

Running For Ryan

c/o Sarah Shay

P.O. Box 300766

Austin, TX 78703

Donations made to Running For Ryan help cover costs to keep the fundraiser going as well as given back to the Wounded Warrior Project.

email: runningforryan@gmail.com for information

Thank you for all your support!

April 7, 2010

I have been blessed to receive a spot in the NYC Marathon this fall, and that just got me thinking about the 13,000 additional dollars I promised to raise after the Austin Marathon. I will know soon enough if I get the green light to go ahead with this event! Stay tuned.



P.S.
UPDATE: I AM NOT RUNNING THE CHICAGO MARATHON. IF YOU WISH TO RUN FOR RYAN, YOU HAVE TO ALREADY BE REGISTERED FOR THE RACE. I DO NOT HAVE RACE ENTRIES FOR THIS EVENT. THANKS! Sarah

March 29, 2010

I cannot believe nearly a month and a half has passed since Austin's Marathon. Fully recovered, yes. In fact, a good 2-3 weeks is what I needed before I started running again. Today the heat was picking up in Austin. High 70's, but not too bad on the trail as it's been breezy since last week. Tonight I had Max, so a 3 mile stroller run. Really hard to do now that he's 5, but still manageable. So far keeping my longest runs near 7-8 miles just to maintain a platform before I start getting into it in a couple of months again. I am crossing my fingers for some news on my next marathon. Other than that, anyone still running the Chicago Marathon, feel free to contact me, as you can join the team at anytime(also found on cararuns.org). In fact, anyone doing any race can raise money with us. I guess I should have pointed this out sooner. I just like to set goals for myself, and the marathon seems to be the goal I personally have in mind at the moment, and it has generated some generous donations in the past. It's not a walk in the park to prepare for if you have a busy, normal life as a full time employee and parent, so congrats to all those who do! Please continue to email me at runningforryan@gmail.com if you have an idea for raising money with me, or want to run and raise money, or want to make a donation. Thanks so much! Sarah

It's Been Awhile, March 23, 2010

I see that my last post was 20 days ago. Well it's been quite a month. Work picked up again, Max was sick for 4 days with a stomach bug, moved closer to town, and had to prepare my first birthday party for Max's 5th birthday. In between all of that a lot of mind wandering and pondering. I am going to say it right now, that Chicago is probably out of the picture for this year anyway. I really didn't rationalize the decision at all before I blurted it out. I was coming off an extreme high from the Austin Marathon and wanted to have another goal to focus on right away. So, I just picked a fall marathon. And because it is a part of my life forever, I have to bring up the fact my Lupus triggered again right after the marathon. Though it seems to be leaving again for now, I really have to face the facts that blazing sun on my face and neck will eat my skin up alive this summer if I am not careful. So, I am looking into doing a marathon in Nov., as it will give me an extra month to train in less extreme Texas heat.


But most importantly I don't want to quit this challenge. For the past 3 weeks I haven't written a thought or focused on the fundraising at all. I had to take care of personal things, and get Max settled in our new place and adjust to our new surroundings and decide if this was going to work again like the Austin Marathon did.


So without promising just yet, I am still committed at this point. I just don't know which event I can/want to do next. What I do know right now is Ryan's spirit has started to surround me again and I had an awesome, sweaty 7 mile run tonight. Doing about 4 days a week of running right now to keep in the swing of things and to do alright in the Capital 10K coming up in a couple of weeks. I feel the adrenaline starting to kick in again, and I look forward to knowing where the next challenge will take me. I have faith an answer will come soon.


Take care.

March 3, 2010

Please visit www. cararuns.org

if you are looking to join a marathon training club and want to Run For Ryan and raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project.

Email runningforryan@gmail.com for more information.

Thanks!

March 2, 2010

After writing the blog below, it got me thinking about how lucky I am. I wrote the soldier I was talking about an email today to say hello. I had to take a minute and realize it's okay to feel a little off, but that the focus needs to go back on keeping Ryan as my guide to running and to raise more money again for the Wounded Warrior Project. Maybe he wasn't the one to enter my dreams this time around, but dreaming about someone I know over seas made me snap back into my zone. It's actually the unknown part about this journey that makes it so much more special and exciting. I really can't wait to go to Chicago and do this marathon. Thanks A.S. for being there and inspiring me to be a better person.

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I woke up this morning with a jolt of energy. I had a very deep sleep for once since the Austin Marathon.
It's true, I got the post race blues. I know why. I was so focused and organized, scheduled, and mentally in the running zone that it made me feel comfortable. I totally forgot about being divorced and the fact that I have not allowed time for a relationship in my life over the past 3 years. But, it didn't bother me. I was so focused on the goal, work and trying to be a good mom that I didn't think too much about other relationships.
But after the race, a feeling of loneliness swept in, and took over for a bit. My mind and body were not occupied with anything to achieve other than my normal duties as an employee and mom. Single parents, and maybe single moms in general can probably relate? I was a stay at home mom, then semi stay at home, then full time working mom and caregiver while his dad was away for military duties. I felt like in order to be a good mom, I couldn't strive too hard with work (ie:cooporate 80 hour workweek) or anything else because I might take away from what I would be giving to my son.
When I decided to start running again after Ryan came to me in a dream, I didn't think twice. At first it was a way to get back into exercising on a regular basis. But when I decided to raise money for veterans, it became a mission. After the Austin Marathon I didn't want the mission to stop, but I was a bit overwhelmed and imagined another marathon and fundraising drive would be pushing it. But, then I started to think about how it felt to be healthy and give back to a charity close to my heart.
I had a dream last night. I was having such a great sleep and it carried into a dream that I vividly remember. I was on a train. It was going very fast, but we were high up, like we were riding around some mountain top. The sky was violet and glowing, very mystical and calm. The view was great, and next to me was a friend who's over in Iraq right now. I looked at him, and asked, "What are you doing here." He said he had some time off and wanted to go for a train ride. I was like, "uh, okay". So, we sat on the train together, looking out at the sky and talked for a bit. When the train stopped, he headed back to Iraq, and I ended up a Max's school where there was a buffet of never ending food. So, I grabbed Max and made him a plate and sang songs with the kids. It was a random dream, but a nice dream.

"To dream that you are on a train, symbolizes your life's journey. It suggests that you are on the right track in life and headed in the right direction. Alternatively, you have a tendency to worry needlessly over a situation that will prove to work out in the end. " (maybe my dream was trying to tell me something)
So, now that I think the post race craziness is easing up and floating away, I am ready to Run For Ryan again, and for our troops.